Pretty Hairstyles! + Personal Stuff

Hello! I've been very interested in looking at hairstyles lately, especially when I saw a lady with beautifully ombred hair the other day and on the inside I was like:

"Oh my Gosh, did you see that? It was beautiful!"

And yes, I do have some conversations running through in my head sometimes. With myself... That's kinda strange, but *shrug shrug*, it's me I guess.

So a few shots of beautiful hairstyles that I have found recently!

And some in pictorial form~~

Sigh... Some people just have the most angelic of hair.

Although I love mine as well, I would have loved it if it had been thicker.

You know us humans, we are forever unsatisfied with ourselves.

Not that I can do anything about that, but for now, I'll love my hair like it is. ☺

Which brings me to the topic of love, again.... (For the umpteenth time, and there is still more to come...)

This guy, this really tall and handsome and smart and cool guy I have a crush on, is driving me nuts. Let's take him as H.

I keep feeling that H is way out of my league, though my friends tell me that that's not the case at all, that he probably likes me back, with all the eye thing that we've been going through the past, I don't know... six months?!

Hell, it might even be a year. (Mind my language!)

But I'm just too shy to do anything and he's... I think he's shy too. We've only talked very briefly but everytime we talk, my friends would come over and be like "What was that all about?", with those annoying eyebrow things that they do.

I would then reply with "I don't know, nothing?"

But I knew there was something. When we were talking and I had to raise my head to talk to him while we walked side-by-side, and we were both smiling, and it just felt right.

Like the feeling just came to me at that moment when he smiled down at me, his eyes all the while on me.

If I dare say, I might have felt like the prettiest girl on Earth at that moment.

Now, we rarely talk, but we still make eyes at each other. I can't seem to meet his eyes, and I think he is taking it the wrong way.

And I'm so cowardly that I won't do anything about it. My friends would push me to him, but I will not say anything at all, and just turn away. I know I kinda hurt him, and it's all my fault.

Being raised in an Asian family, we were taught that girls should always be the ones getting wooed. Being a conservative type of person, I've always believed that.

And I fear the fall, when we finally get together and we break up and ruin our friendship just because I could not keep my feelings out of the way.

And even worse, what if I confessed and he rejected me, saying he never liked me? That I've made everything up in my head, because I was too much of a dense idiot to know that.

Sometimes, I just wished I never had a crush on him. I wouldn't be so messed up in my head now.

But I never regretted crushing on him. He was the one that brought meaning to going to school everyday, even if it was just to get a glance of him, even when I'm down with a fever. Just one glance makes everything feel right.

And I really hope this isn't an infatuation, because if it is, I think I never want to fall in love. It would overwhelm me so much that I would not be able to carry on with my life.

I don't want to be dependent on a guy so much that my life revolves around him. No guy deserves that much, my life is my own after all.

My dreams; they all revolve around him - us.

That we are holding hands, hugging, kissing and on sweet dates that I know will most likely never come true.

I think this is a phase of a girl's life? If every girl has to go through this like me, I'd rather they don't but hope they do as well.

I think this has helped me grow, as a person and especially as a lady.

But all I hope now is that we can at least still stay friends, even as we leave school this year.

And I hope that after this year, my heart will stop pounding so hard when I see him and that I will stop blushing (which causes me to turn away). I also hope that I will meet someone new and forget about him, only to remember him as a nice part of my life.

And when I think about it all over again, I realised that none of those hopes are true. And that I only have one.

I hope that he will like me too.

I'm still confused now, even after all this while. But I really hope I can resolve this soon.

After ranting out so much, I feel a little relieved, but I'm still so messed up inside. And all my resolutions of trying to forget him and all will just disappear tomorrow when I see him. (It's a neverending, killer cycle)

Alright, I'll stop! No one likes to hear depressed words anyway, but everyone has those moments.

On to some sweet couple pictures that I'm so jealous of, but happy for them too.

Tonight's song: All About Us by He Is We

I just have the urge to slow dance with someone now. It always happens whenever I think of him...

I wonder if he thinks of me too...

Goodnight lovelies!